Category Archives: Transformation

Posts Under Transformation Category

You’ve Got Mail

mail

mail 150x150 Youve Got MailI love to watch people. Our habits, our behaviours and our little quirks all fascinate me.

Walking through a city centre these days, I see lots of people either talking on their phones or typing into them, and I asked myself a question – why are we so attracted to the fact that we can be reached at any time?

One of the fundamental needs of each one of us is to feel wanted. So we see why we’re becoming ‘hooked’ on the fact that we can now not only take calls, receive text messages but also connect with social media, all from our phone handsets.

My question to you is: Are you so aware of that little sound that tells you that someone is interacting with you that you’re becoming addicted to the attention?

Remember that there is no promise that anyone else can make you truly happy. We are humans and we will let each other down at some point – that’s just a fact. If you’re not working on being happy with yourself, regardless of whether anyone is ‘wanting’ you or not, then you’re giving away your power to be truly happy, to another.

Try switching the device off for an afternoon and just spending time with YOU.

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How to Guarantee a GREAT Day Every Day! – Chris Widener

Chris Widner 208 3013 208 3242 140x150 How to Guarantee a GREAT Day Every Day!   Chris WidenerI have a standing interview every Monday morning on a radio station in the southeast that I enjoy very much. You can imagine though that it can become routine. So to make it a little more fun, the host nowadays doesn’t even tell me the topic before we go live on the air – that puts some excitement into it!

This past week he asked me the following question cold at the beginning of the show: How can a person guarantee that they will have a great day, every day? Now some may find that a hard question but for me it was actually a very easy question to answer (a little harder to actually live, but not that hard). You see, I believe in principles that govern our lives so that we can control our destinies and create for ourselves the kind of lives that we desire. People who live based on principles achieve what they desire while people who live reacting to circumstances do not.

So, what were the principles that I gave to guarantee that a person could have a GREAT day every day? Here they are

Focus on today only.

Yes, we need to have long-range goals. But our focus must be on today. My old equation is that your short-term tasks multiplied by time equal your long-term accomplishments. With that in mind, it is imperative that we focus in on our short-term, to control it and make it what will eventually, when multiplied by time, equal our long-term goals. Don’t think about tomorrow. Today is enough trouble in and of itself. You can work on tomorrow when it gets here. Instead, make today the best day you have ever had. Realize that when you lay down to sleep tonight you will have just given up the only shot you will ever have at today. Today is now gone and it is only a memory. You only get one shot at your today so focus intently on making it all that it possibly can be. Focus, focus, focus! When you focus on making today great, you are on the road to guaranteeing that you will make your day GREAT, every day!

Embrace your power to choose.

Dwight D. Eisenhower said that “The history of free men is never written by chance but by choice, their choice.” When your today becomes your yesterday, you will look back and realize that that day was a result of your choices and your choices only. “But wait Chris, what if my boss controlled my day? That isn’t my choice!” But it is your choice to work for someone else! You choice to let someone else tell you what to do. You chose the feelings of helplessness that overwhelm you when you feel bad that you do not control your own destiny.

The moment we realize that we have a gift from God that the animals do not have, mainly the gift of free will and choice, and when we realize the inherent power within that gift, and ultimately when we finally begin to exercise that gift, then and only then, will we begin to create for ourselves a GREAT day each and every day! Take ownership of the direction in your life. Make your choices then carry them out!

Your attitude is up to you.

Yes, bad things may happen in your day. The pitcher for Team Circumstances may have a tremendous curveball waiting for you and you cannot control that. You cannot control what others may do or say. But you do control your attitude. Your attitude about whatever happens to you is up to you.

When something happens to you, you have the choice: Will you let it get you down and depressed, keeping you from forging ahead and making the day the best one ever? Or will you say to yourself that no matter what happens you are on the path to success and no obstacle will keep you from it? Will you say, “Sometime you win and sometimes you lose – I guess this time I lost”? Will you say, “Sometime you win and sometimes you learn – I can really learn something from this!”?

It is all in what attitude we choose. Your attitude is up to you and when you choose to have a great attitude, you are choosing to guarantee to have a GREAT day, every day!

Live out and act on your priorities.

So far we have dealt with internal perspectives, and that is indeed the place to start. But the practical place is in our priorities. If we want to make our days great, then we have to live out those things that will by definition make our days great. And those things are what are important to us. They are our priorities.

So each morning you start out by saying, “What things are important to me today? What are the things I need to accomplish in order for me to lay down tonight and know that I lived a GREAT day?” Then you put those in order of most important to least important.

Don’t so what is fun. Don’t do what is easy. Do what is IMPORTANT! Live out your priorities! When you do, you will guarantee that you will make your day GREAT, every day!

Tomorrow, when you wake up, go through the four following points and see if you don’t make tomorrow a GREAT day:

Focus on today only.
Understand that I get to choose how today will go.
Remain in a positive attitude no matter what happens.
Live out and act on my priorities.

Do this and you will guarantee a GREAT day, every day!

Chris Widener is the author of The Angel Inside, The Art of Influence, and the Leadership Rules and can be found at www.ChrisWidener.com

Chris Widener

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Sour Grapes Anyone?

Grapes 300x289 Sour Grapes Anyone?Sour Grapes - Refers to envious behaviour, especially pretending to not care for something one does not or cannot have… (www.wikipedia.com)

Isn’t it galling when you’ve been dreaming about something for ages, working toward it, sweating for it…and then someone else seems to get exactly what you wanted with apparently little or no effort?

One of two things can occur when that happens. A) either throw in the towel or B) it makes you even more determined to get what you want!

However, regardless of which path it makes you take, one thing is for sure – sour grapes will stop you moving forward!

Let go of being resentful of what other people have or get and just wish them well instead. Then, concentrate on getting what you want REGARDLESS of what others have, and you will have let go of resentment and have your full power back in order to reach your own goals.

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Life – Live It!

Life

8840138 s 300x300 Life   Live It!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Howard Thurman

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Allow yourself to be Refreshed

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Allow yourself to be refreshed!

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Give, and it will be given to you

Give

Give 150x138 Give, and it will be given to youA fabulous way to start each day is with the thought of how you can be a blessing to others.

We’re so ‘me-minded’ sometimes that we get caught up in our own little world with all of its self talk and inward focus. Sometimes, when the voices get too loud, the best thing to do is to concentrate elsewhere.

When we consciously take the time to look outside ourselves and do something for someone else, we’ll find that when we give, the immediate result is a smile on our face. And with that smile, the world seems a little lighter.

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Spots before the eyes

Change

Change 150x97 Spots before the eyesA man went to his doctor complaining about the fact that he was getting dizzy and seeing white spots before his eyes. The doctor took some tests and about a week later came back to the man and said, “I’m sorry but I have some very bad news. You have a very rare disease and we estimate that you have only 6 months to live”. The man decided that he would give up his job, cash in his pension and do all the things in life that he’d always wanted to do.

He travelled extensively seeing the 7 wonders of the world and was walking past a very exclusive designer outlet one day, when he decided that he would go and have them make him a custom made tailored suit.
He went in and the tailor took all of his measurements and when he was done he took the man’s neck measurement to fit him with a shirt to go with his new suit. He took the measurements and said, “That’s lovely sir, I’ll add a shirt with a 16 ½ inch collar, into the deal”.
The man turned to him and said, “I don’t take a 16 ½ “ shirt, I take a 15” shirt” The tailor measured again and showed the man the measuring tape and said, “No sir, as you can see, you definitely take a 16 ½ ” shirt”.
The man was insistent saying, “I have always worn a 15” shirt and I will continue to do so!”
“OK sir” said the tailor, “but know that if you wear a collar that tight, you are likely to feel dizzy and see white spots before your eyes”

What’s the moral of the story? If you refuse to change, then your circumstances will always remain as grave as they are today.

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Happiness is Yours for the Taking – Chris Widener

Chris Widener

Chris Widner 208 3013 208 3242 140x150 Happiness is Yours for the Taking   Chris WidenerHappiness. The pursuit of so many. In fact, we are known in America as those who live for “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’

But so many seem without happiness. Why is this? Is happiness truly elusive or do we simply not know how to take hold of it? It is my contention that happiness is yours for the taking. That is, anyone can be happy if the choose to be… and if they know how to get it.

So what does it take to bring us to a state of happiness? Here are a few thoughts to get you on your way:

Do not try to control circumstances.
One of the biggest “happiness busters” I see is in the frustration people experience (and wallow in) because circumstances have gone awry. This is because their mind-set, whether they know it or not, is that they should be somehow able to control circumstances. But let’s get this straight: You can’t! So the first thing you can do to give yourself happiness is to stop trying to control, or taking responsibility for circumstances that are outside of your control!

Understand that you can only control yourself.
There is only one thing you can control in this world and that is yourself. You can’t control the weather, other drivers, your kids or spouse, or anything for that matter outside of your own beliefs, thoughts, attitudes and actions. Focus all of your attention on developing yourself and doing what is right – controlling yourself while letting what will happen, happen – and you will find happiness opening up within you.

Decide what it is that you want out of life and then stick to it relentlessly.
This is two parts: First, know what you want. Get real clear with yourself. Take a private retreat to be alone if you have to, but come to grips with what you want your life to look like. Secondly, devote yourself to that passion and do not be sidetracked. It is interesting to me how many options we have – good options – that if we pursue them they will actually crush our happiness because they will take us away from what will really make us happy.

Live for a legacy.
We cannot be self-absorbed and live only for ourselves. Yes, we only control ourselves, but we can live for the betterment of others. Live your life in such a way that others are touched and you will find yourself feeling happiness in ways that you could never imagine. For example, I get some of the most touching emails from people I have never met (and probably never will) who tell me how I have helped them. There is little else that brings me such happiness!

Settle your finances.
Whatever your financial goals are, get them! Having poor finances is one of the major causes of unhappiness. Now, some people are completely content on $30,000 a year. Others need $200,000 a year. That is okay. We all have different desires, needs, and goals. But the key is to know what you want your financial life to look like and then do what it takes to get there. Among the major things to do is to eliminate as much debt as possible, if not all!

Surround yourself with good friends.
Good friend are such a blessing! I have some of the most intelligent, capable, successful, and caring friends a person could have. I have three or four people in my life that I completely trust and admire. When friendships are clicking, there is almost nothing that provides more happiness. Take time to develop your friendships. Spend time with them, do fun things with them etc. Even as life gets more and more busy, make time with your friends a priority.

Develop your primary love relationship.
I spoke at a groom’s dinner recently and one of the points I made was that marriage will show you both heaven and hell! Marriage, when it is going well will send you out the door each morning on cloud nine. When it isn’t going well, it affects every area of your life negatively. Do whatever you can – work hard – at developing your primary love relationship. The rewards of happiness you reap will be tremendous!

Happiness is yours for the taking – and hope you will take the time to develop your life in such a way as to be able to experience all of the happiness you can handle!

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Our House…in the middle of our street

House

217825 s 150x100 Our House...in the middle of our streetRemember the old ‘Madness’ song?

I saw this picture and it got me thinking about the plans I have for the house of my dreams. I’ve drawn the floor plan and have a detailed description of all the rooms, views and locations. I then often meander around the house when I’m visualising where I want my life to go.

I see myself sitting on the balcony overlooking the beautiful blue ocean; I hear the waves crashing against the shore and I smell the lovely salty aroma wafting in on the sea breeze. I imagine myself writing my books at the desk in my office, using the latest technology and systems to just allow the words to flow. My husband is in his workshop inventing yet another life changing gadget whilst my daughter is working in her photographic studio creating breathtaking images that are sought after all over the world.

On a beautiful sunny day like today, that dreaming is even easier than usual. See it, smell it, hear it, taste it and then…live it!

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What does it really look like?

Moss on tree

2037936 s 142x150 What does it really look like?“Without Vision the People Perish” The Bible

One of the greatest motivating factors that is built into every human being is the need for personal advancement. Neither the disappointments of the past nor the ‘reality’ of current circumstances can stop the person who takes seriously the call of their inner voice, to be all that they were created to be.

Make the vision of what your amazing future looks like so VIVID in all its detail, that the mere thought of it is the magnet that pulls you toward its inevitable accomplishment.

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A Face like Glass

Doll

Doll 100x150 A Face like GlassEach one of deal with emotion in different ways and it’s exactly those differences which make us unique, but it’s also those differences which can make us very frustrated too.

Regardless of the way you, and those around you, deal with hurt and fear there is a common ‘fix’ that works for us all. What is this ‘fix’ you ask? It’s forgiveness!

Whether you let go quickly or you like to sulk for a while, getting the issue off your chest and forgiving is the best way to deal with hurt, offense and fear.

No need to put on a stony face like the model in this picture. Forgive and move on!

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