Day 15 – Unconditional Love

Boytjie

IMG 0063 350x350 Day 15   Unconditional LoveI posted this on Facebook today:

I’ve had to have my precious little boy put to sleep today.

He taught me about unconditional love – purring in the depth of his being and rolling on his back to get his tummy rubbed. He curled up against my belly, nuzzled me with his nose and purposefully stuck one nail (yes, just one) into me when he was starving icon smile Day 15   Unconditional Love .

I will miss him terribly and all I can say is that he has left an indelible mark on my life.

RIP Boytjie, Mommy’s precious little boy

He was with us for 16 years and was 17 years old. We found him in a dirty alley behind a Beauty Salon I used to work in when we first came to the UK. We’d never had a cat before and the process of him getting used to us, and us, him, was a funny one indeed. On the second day we had him, he vanished. We were frantically searching all over for him, when we started to hear a faint miaowing sound above us. As we looked up we saw this tiny speck of black at the very top of a 50ft conifer! He’d been so scared that he’d climbed all the way to the top and was stuck. After a good hour of trying, we eventually got him down and he never ran away from us again. It was like he knew he’d found people that would love him and look after him.

He was my little cat. We had a special relationship and even had our own language that we ‘spoke’. We knew exactly what each other was saying, even though no-one else did. We had our routines and the things we always did together (like him cuddling up on my lap during my Quiet Time every morning.) This was, of course, after he’d jumped on our bed and plonked himself so close to me that he could put the end of his nose onto the tip of mine and breathe all his CO2 directly into my brain! This being his favourite way to wake me up so that he could be fed J.

He’d become very ill toward the end and even the vet suggested that it was now time to quietly put him to sleep. I knew this was coming and so I took the weekend before to spend time with him. I cuddled with him. I gave him his favourite food and I generally ‘loved him up’ as much as I could.

I’ve learned some great lessons by having him in my life.

I’ve learned:

  • What unconditional love looks like. It didn’t matter what I looked like, smelled like, what I’d said or what I’d done – he loved me anyway.
  • What it means to be delighted when you see someone. He lit up my face every time.
  • How to play. He loved to act like he was waiting to be cuddled and then his tail would begin to swish and I knew that ‘play fight’ time had come – hilarious (until I got caught by a razor sharp nail)
  • Responsibility for looking after an animal. Good, cute times and bad, sick times.
  • How to let my heart be cherished. He would just lie by me like I was the best thing on the planet. He adored me and I adored him. He totally trusted me and would let me carry him like a baby, hug him real tight and play fight with him.

When he went, I have learned:

  • How to let myself grieve. I’m a ‘no-nonsense’ gal and am ever quick to ‘pull myself together’. I just couldn’t this time though. I cried on and off for the whole on Monday and eventually just took myself off to bed. Now, whenever I feel sad when I remember him, I just let myself cry.
  • The importance of recording memories. I just sat down and wrote down everything I remembered about our time together. It was a wonderfully cathartic way to cry it all out and move on with a big smile on my face every time I remember.

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