Day 29 – Men, eugh…..

Day 29

Day 29 350x282 Day 29   Men, eugh.....I was sitting having coffee with a friend of mine today, when the subject of the ‘equality of the sexes’ came up. I love talking about this topic because, many years ago, someone helped me to see things from a completely new perspective – and it changed my life.

I had just started with a network marketing company and we were invited to hear a speaker named Allan Pease talk about the differences between men and women. At this time of my life, my attitude towards the ‘battle of the sexes’ was one of ‘anything a man can do, a woman can do better’ and I would battle any man in my life who tried to keep me down or tell me I couldn’t do something.

He started to talk about not only the personality differences between men and women but even broke it down to the physiological differences. I began to learn that men have been specifically created to function one way and women specifically created to function another. Then, the icing on the cake is that these two ways of functioning are completely complementary to one another and not in the least competitive.

I was bowled over!

This went beyond the normal arguments I had heard (and often offered myself) that centered purely around performance – which assumes an identical playing field.

I learned that men and women are completely EQUAL, yet they are completely DIFFERENT – and those two things are not the same!

Women have unique innate ways of functioning (gestating and giving birth to a baby, breastfeeding etc) that men are not physically capable of doing because they weren’t created to perform that function. Similarly, a man has unique innate ways of functioning (providing the sperm that fertilizes the egg). These two are examples of the unique qualities of a man and the unique qualities of a woman. Each then needs the other in order to create a baby. It can’t be done without an egg, sperm and a womb.

I began to look at my ‘struggle’ with equality in a whole new light. I began to appreciate the things that my husband was created to do and stopped trying to compete with him in those areas. It was an amazing feeling for both of us. For me, I learned to appreciate what my husband could do for our family. I began to build him up and thank him for being our provider, for carrying the heavy bags, for being the spiritual head of our home. We began to ask him for guidance and acknowledge the wisdom God gives him in his position as the head of our family.

He began to take back the responsibility that I had wrestled away from him because I wanted to prove that I was ‘as good as a man’. As I stepped back from doing what wasn’t mine to do, he stepped in and assumed his rightful place. I began to feel nurtured, looked after and safe because ‘my man’ was where he was supposed to be. It felt good to be able to go to him and ask him to help me carry heavy things, open jam jars and give me advice from a male perspective.

The most amazing healing and feeling of safety, equality and respect came out of this mindset shift. I realized that he and I are completely equal, yet totally opposite – and that’s just the way it’s meant to be. Man fulfilling his role and woman fulfilling hers and together, complementing each other to form a ‘match made in heaven’.

As I told my friend this story, we realized that relationships in all spheres of life would be so much healthier and more productive if we all understood this concept. Men and women don’t have to be good at the same things; they just need to be good at their things. When we are, we complement each other and produce a far better result than when we try to compete against each other.

I came home and gave my husband a great big kiss and thanked him for being a wonderful man. icon wink Day 29   Men, eugh.....

That realisation has set me free!

 

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