Confident Motherhood – Day 6

What’s Your Love Language?



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A few years ago I read a brilliant book called ‘The Five Love Languages’ by Dr Gary Chapman. In it he explains that there are basically five love languages in which we both give, and receive, love. Each of us has a primary language as well as a secondary language.

These languages are:
1. Acts of Service
2. Physical Touch
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Words of Affirmation
5. Quality Time

When I sat down and discovered what language was the favourite of each of us in our family, I finally understood the reason for some of the arguments we had. Boy, was it a relief to know what was going on.

Basically, when Jack’s primary language is ‘Physical Touch’ and Mary’s is ‘Acts of Service’, there is the potential for them to think they’re showing love, but the other person doesn’t seem to be getting it. Jack loves to hug Mary, and is hurt when he gets shrugged off relatively quickly. On the other hand Mary gets very upset when the bathroom is left in a state and Jack doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about.

So, Jack is giving love as physical hug but Mary doesn’t like to be loved that way. Mary thinks nothing of shrugging the hug off but Jack is deeply hurt. Same with the bathroom scenario.

So, when we know that someone receives love in a certain way, we can purposely give them love in that way, even though it isn’t our language. Similarly, we can ask to receive love in our way and everyone gets a good proper dose of heartfelt love.

Once my household understood each others languages, we were able to give and receive love according to our primary language. The result – our relationships were more peaceful, everyone felt more loved and our home was generally happier.

Action:

· Get Gary’s book and/or visit his website by clicking here

· Sit down and work out the Primary and Secondary Love Language of each person in your home. Let everyone in your family know what they are.

· Make it a fun exercise to think of ways of loving each individual in their special way.

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