Confident Motherhood – Day 7

Friendships and Adult Interaction

Truth

In researching this book I asked a friend of mine if she was nervous about spending the majority of her time with adults on returning to work after Maternity Leave. This was her response:

“…I do think it will be odd to spend time with grown ups again. I do worry that I will have spent so long with my baby being the centre of my life I won’t have anything to talk about!”

It is vitally important to ensure that you develop and maintain strong friendships in order to flourish as a Mum. Studies have shown that those parents, who have a network of people around them, feel much more secure in bringing up their children and are far more likely to stay together whilst also providing a stable and loving environment for the children to grow up in.

You also need to be able to spend some time with your friends – without your children! There need to be times when it can be either just you and your friends, or you, your partner and friends. Time away from the kids gives you a much needed break as well as teaching and helping them to realise that Mummy has to have some time to herself.

Join a Club or Group that interests you and allows you to use and develop your unique likes and talents. It’s great being around people that like the same things you do, providing stimulating conversation and some fun. If there isn’t anything in your area, then start one of your own!

I don’t recall a day where I saw my mum out with her friends (I don’t even know if she has any) or I saw her and my dad on a ‘date’. In short – she was too focused on being a mother and her world revolved on us. Not that I blame her because soon after I had Deina – I was sorta like my mum.. and worse I thought it was ok and made sure that my husband feels the same way. Until it reached a point where we became so stressed that we were always fighting over simple matters. I’m not an open person but at that point I just wanted to talk to a friend. It was a great relief when I was finally able to do so! There I realized how my husband feels. Now we make it a point that Philip and I have time for both of us, time for our Deina and time for ourselves. Sometimes I go out with my girlfriends or go malling by myself! Philip also plays tennis or meets up with highschool friends as well. This really helped our relationship as a couple and made us better parents.

Debbie

Action:

· Form and maintain friendships that nourish you and set aside regular times when you can meet.

· Find a local Club or Group that you can join or start one yourself.

· Research babysitters you can trust.

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